August 8, 2011

On the Inequality of Switching Gender Roles

Caveat: I'm not saying this is how EVERYONE thinks. There are wonderful, open-minded, and thoughtful writers and readers out there. These are simply my observations about the vast majority of many blogs and articles I've read.

You see a lot of applause given to female characters who defy the conventions of traditionally female roles. Example? Katniss Everdeen, the consummate hunter. The provider, breadwinner, protector. Practical. Aloof. A little emotionally constipated, which only seems to make her more endearing.

But why is it that, when a male character (particularly the main protagonist) falls too far from his traditional roles, it doesn't garner the same level of applause, if ANY? Make a male character sensitive and a bit clumsy and, suddenly, he's just not MANLY enough. Or *gasp* he's a WIMP. And he will only shed that stigma when he goes out and kills something with his hands! As if a man's character should be defined by his physical prowess and little else.

If the male character in question is a side character, then he's relegated to comic relief. B/c we all know male characters who exhibit traditionally female traits are SO FUN TO LAUGH AT, RIGHT? (note: sarcasm)

But what does this mean then? That traditionally female traits are undesirable in a protagonist? But that's both ridiculous and insulting. And not at all true considering the number of female protagonists who do not kick any butt at all. To stick with the Hunger Games characters, Prim was a stark contrast to Katniss in every way, but her strength, although quieter, was just as significant as her sister's.

Well then the next logical conclusion is that traditionally female traits are undesirable in a MALE protagonist. But... why? Why the double standard? Why are women applauded for not having perceived female traits, but men are considered emasculated for doing the same?

Is this a symptom of a larger issue? (Yes) Has the historical efforts of women to obtain equal rights with men given us the notion that only qualities found in men are what we should aspire to? INTELLECTUALLY, we know this isn't true. Then why is it socially acceptable for a girl to play with toy trucks, but so many parents throw a fit if their boy wants a doll?

(And by men having perceived female traits, I do NOT mean anything that women have been fighting for hundreds of years to overcome--the inequality, the diminished sense of being simply for having a different sex organ, the lack of civil rights, etc.)

I'd love to know what you guys think ♥

I say we just do away with the notion of gender roles :)

Have a great week, all!

Comments (30)

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i totally agree with this, dude. i mean, there are sensitive boys in YA lit too, and i completely love them, and so do lots of other people i know. but yeah, in real life, it'd be nice to not judge guys by them doing slightly 'feminine' stuff. like sewing, and baking, and stuff. like, my bro wants to be a cook, and i hope that he'll be able to be one, and not be daunted by the whole 'guy isn't supposed to be working in the kitchen!' stigma. i mean, there ARE male cooks in pakistan, too, but still a pretty small number.

okay, so i totally got off-topic, but yeah, great post! :)
1 reply · active 711 weeks ago
Well personally, I like traditional gender roles. Not in the sense that I think everyone should practice them and I won't like any books where they aren't, but in the sense that when someone talks down to them then I get a little miffed. And personally, I'm kinda sick of the female characters who are breaking traditional gender roles and won't let you forget it. Umm... yeah. Way to be original, it's only what 98% of authors are doing these days. For once I'd like to see a traditional princess who actually likes the guy she's arranged to marry and doesn't mind getting rescued.

As for the effeminate man, there are some traditionally feminine traits that I don't think are bad for a male to show. Like crying, loving his hair, or being sensitive. Just to name a few. But a man who squeals and runs at the first sight of danger, or leaves the ladies to do all the heavy lifting, really isn't attractive.

And I don't think it's just women who impose this stereotype on men, it's mainly men imposing it on themselves. Men have a fragile ego that they want to protect from all things pink and sparkly.
2 replies · active 711 weeks ago
I'm doing my best to get a novel published that has a male MC with many female qualities. He's sensitive, thoughtful, caring, empathetic, but still also brave. I'm hoping people will want to read it.
1 reply · active 711 weeks ago
I just finished the Perks of Being a Wallflower, and was taken by surprise by how often the MC cries. I've read a few more books that have done better jobs of making boy characters introspective and sensitive, but the crying seemed to be a line that was still very clear in the sand. But it works in PBW because of how the MC is developed and revealed, in such beautiful and reflective language.
1 reply · active 711 weeks ago
I'll try and come back with more like, actual commentary later if I have time, but right now, all I can say is I <3 you so much for this. THIS. YES. THIS.
3 replies · active 711 weeks ago
I think this is an important point --> this double standard that exists with male MCs and how they are viewed by readers. Our culture teaches us what is expected from males and females and when people deviate from the norm, it's time to grab the pitchforks. I place the blame on the latent homophobia in our society and the sometimes insidious messages mass media subjects us to...

As a female writer, I am often drawn to strong female characters -- not because they are appropriating male roles (although that sometimes happens) but because they harness whatever strength they have (physical, mental, emotional etc.) to solve a goal. And I think right now is a unique time because there's so many strong female mc's out there -- some more hardcore than others -- and they are moving copies. Once upon a time, male protagonists dominated, but when 70% of readers are women...

Male characters who don't embody all the alpha hero traits can be trickier, imo. They must have an appealing voice or some way for the reader to emphasize with them even when they don't behave like a "hero." It falls to the author to show the human frailties of the character and make it resonate with the plot -- and frankly making things go boom is a lot easier.

I admit I get frustrated when a character does not act in a way that I think they should. Sometimes it's exasperation that the Gary/Mary Sue character can do everything perfectly or a character who wusses out instead of standing up for themselves, fighting back, etc. My perception of these situations is probably unconsciously driven by cultural expectations that have been indoctrinated in me, but again, it falls to the author to ensure their characters' motivation and personality come through to engage the reader and push the story forward.

I think escapism plays a big role in this issue as well. If you are reading to escape from the everyday, some people want to read about larger than life characters doing larger than life things. Sometimes people don't want to be reminded at how human we all are...

So while "weaker" male characters can be done, can they be written compellingly enough to capture readers? I think because they deviate from what's perceived to be the "norm," there's a lot less tolerance for weak characters poorly developed. It's not fair, but this is what happens in a industry driven by money and cultural tastes...

Whew...sorry about the length, Lori, but your post brought up a lot of important points!
1 reply · active 711 weeks ago
I'm too tired to think of a really good response to this, but I applaud you for addressing the issue. The double standard definitely exists here too, and I think it's important to be aware of it and think about why it is there. I'm all for well-rounded, flawed, and REAL characters, regardless of whether they're girls who are good at hunting or boys who like to cook/bake bread. :)
1 reply · active 711 weeks ago
Alleged Author's avatar

Alleged Author · 711 weeks ago

There is a double standard, and I'm happy you are pointing it out because you are much more eloquent than I!
1 reply · active 711 weeks ago
Wow! Such a great post and so many good comments already. Several have said what I planned to say. So I'm just going to savor the insights and make mine very short. I LOVE the sensitive man who's a little bumfuzzled by even the idea of the opposite sex (Betas can be sexy). There's something very attractive about a man who doesn't know much yet, but is VERY willing to learn. Still, it takes a real balancing act to pull off a character like that w/out turning off readers. I've seen it done, but very rarely. But when it's done right, IMO, they've been some of the best heroes I've read.
1 reply · active 711 weeks ago
:) This reminds me of an early post about badass heroines dominating fantasy in particular and I wanted one who didn't have to fight and have all these "masculine" traits. http://sophiathewriter.blogspot.com/2011/01/does-...

Look what great convo you sparked!

Just in time for an award too - come by the blog sometime!
1 reply · active 711 weeks ago
Here via Sophia's blog. And WOW what an amazing post. Great point about Prim's quiet strength. Love your posts and sketches and look forward to seeing more! :)
1 reply · active 711 weeks ago
Fantastic post, Lori! What the heck is gender, anyway, when you get down to it? It's just frustrating to hear from my 7 year old nephew that his sister can't like blue because that's a boys' colour -- he's picked this up from other kids at school. And he looked at me like I was slightly crazy when I made him repeat after me: There is no such things as boys' colours or girls' colours. anyone can like any colour!"
1 reply · active 709 weeks ago

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